Don Of The Slums
by MagdalenaDeSamhain
Summary: Alternate Universe.Tifa is tired of the old, day to day life in the slums. She goes to Wall Market to become a bartender..only to be mistaken for Aerith;star cabaret dancer. Tifa x Sepiroth.Bugenhagen x Alcohol.Yuffie x Zack. Maybe AerithxCloud.
1. Chapter One: Enter Wall Market

**Disclaimer : **I do not own the Final Fantasy series, the server or any of it's affiliates.

Enshrouded in the night, Tifa ran across spare mechanical parts and dead monsters to arrive at the Wall Market, when most normal folk were safe in the realm of sleep. Not this town, however. The avant-garde sounds of the town were calling her. Bright lights shone about, one was even a display of Materia for the star whore's name. Amazed, she wandered around aimlessly until she came to a deserted alley. _"Stupid goddamn Shin-Ra, " _Tifa thought. _"Stupid goddamn ordinary life."_

She knew that the ordeal she was about to overtake was at least slightly wrong. _"Well...at least in a moral sense_," she mused. But yet,almost laughing to herself, _"that was the erotism of it! Showtime! Twist the bottle and feel the burn." _Physically and mentally exausted, she leaned against a wall to catch her breath.

A kitten then ran across her path. At first, Tifa thought it was a rat; and almost screamed in horror, but then she glanced at the eyes and saw the pointed tail and cerulean eyes. There was also something silver attached to its tail. The kitten ran around her foot in a circle, and then timidly looking up at Tifa, mewed. The silver ball made tinkling noises against the cold pavenment of Wall Market.

"Like a dog..well, since dogs are man's best friend..but I'm not a man.. are cats women's best friends?" Picking the kitten up, she saw that on it's stomach was the smallest patch of red hair, shaped like the number 13. Tifa giggled to herself. "I think I will call you Red 13!"

A chortle was then heard from the back end of the alley. Alarmed, Tifa tightened her grip on Red 13 and then inquired a timid "hello...?" into the darkness. The stench of alcohol was suddenly rained upon Tifa as she watched a hobo emerge from the back. A ill-prepared voice called out to no one in particular,

"I'm Buuuugen Haaaaagen. hic You better take care of Nanananaaaaki...or else...hic ..Umm...huh? ..Here's some stuff for the laaaaaaaaaaaadyy...!Stupid giiiirls' stuff doesnt sell.."

The hobo then attempted to throw a suitcase at Tifa, but the attempt spiraled him downward, where he crashed upon the concrete. Tifa was extremly wary of this man's apparently drunk behavior. Hesitantly, she grabbed the suitcase, threw some spare Gil out of her pocket and ran into the night, cat in tow.

Upon reaching a vacant stairwell, Tifa sat down and surveyed the contents of the suitcase. It said "AERITH" in silver letters along the side. Tifa shrugged. After discarding the small double A batteries, the sex toys and a quarter-bag of marijuana; Tifa decided upon keeping a small leather band with smaller brown feathers, (which she promptly shoved on Red 13's head) 200 Gil, a bag of makeup,perfume and two small black dresses.

Tifa smiled. Upon further inspection,Tifa found a hidden latch in the case. This revealed a box which looked like it had seen the wrong end of a fast food resturant. Howeve.earrings, bangles, necklace,ring and brooch; the complete works; in black pearl on silver with black onyx accents glistened like newly born Materia. In the makeup kit was eyeliner, two lipsticks, mascara and a small pallete of eyeshadow. A gold mine. What a lovely suitcase.

Tifa put all of the contents of the suitcase away and then looked at the bag of marijuana that lay, slightly fresh, on the lower steps. Tifa decided she would sell it at a later date. The newly acquired Gil and the sparse 60 Gil she had were worth a few days at a hotel, maximum. Food, if she was cheap. Tifa sighed. She would have to find work soon. Tifa rummaged through the case to find one of the lipsticks.

As she was applying it, a man called out to her from up above her. "Miss..?" he hesitantly questioned. Tifa, quite alarmed, closed the lipstick and the suitcase and looked at Red. She picked him up and then stood up. "Yes, who are you and what do you want?" The man ran down the stairs. And then he laughed. Tifa glanced at him oddly.


	2. Chapter Two: Enter Hotel California

**Dislaimer: **I do not claim any of the following works as my own. I am a mindless Clone controlled by Sepiroth. When he returns, all work will be claimed by and it's affiliates.

Apparently, the man was a high-ranking officer for the hotel she was sitting below. He peered at her for a moment. "Aerith? Back again..? ..Did you dye your hair? " Tifa shrugged. Whoever this Aerith was, she was big. Aerith was the name she passed, written in Materia.

It was best to play with this fascade and see where she went with it. _"If only," _Tifa thought, _"...I knew what Aerith acted like ..." _She soon got her wish. The steward, apparently not only knew Aerith, but also had some choice words for her. Extremely choice.

"Dont act stupid, Aerith. Standing there as if I'm adressing the wind." Tifa stared blankly. The steward got flustered and ranted. "Oh, what.. do you need a big fucking introduction or something! All hail Aerith, the magical cabaret dancer and savior of the world!"

Tifa nodded. "Uhm..If you suppose so." She idily petted Red 13 as she looked around,slightly exasperated. He looked quite haggard and he paid her no mind. "Aerith! No jokes this time. No goddamn jokes. Please, dont give us a hard time this time. ...Four o clock in the fucking morning! Goddamn! What were you thinking! No stores, let alone people are up then. I mean, god.. It is Wall Market, but not fucking Noct-opia!"

Tifa was stunned. This was the person she was supposed to portray? Some arrogant, hotheaded pothead? "We dont care that you roll, but dont disturb the rest of us normal ones! Be nice to us. Your'e hot, but it doesnt mean that youre' it! " The man was growing quite red in the face. It appeared like he wanted to say this for quite a while. After a minute of utter silence, the steward's color receded and he said, quite placidly, " Madam? Shall I show you to your room? It is already prepared."

Tifa and the steward walked inside the hotel, the opulence and splendor of the hallway called out to Tifa, as if to say ;_Welcome Home. _The chandelier sparkled, even though it was dead in the night. The crystals of the fixtures moved around, as if possessed by ghosts. They walked the halls in silence, until the steward inquired, "Is that your new pet? I thought you had a dog..."

She thought fast. "Well, cats are all the rage. Dogs are so last season. Ugh. " She hoped she came off as convincing. As Aerith. The man smiled "And thank God too, now we dont have to clean up it's shit anymore..going about all high and mightly...stupid goddamn dog Tinkerbelle..."

The man halted and extracted a key, then pivoted and opened the door with more flourish than nessecary. "Here we are. Have a good stay at the Hotel California. " He dropped the key in Tifa's outstrected palm and then ran as fast as a rabid Chocobo being chased by Neo Bahamut. Tifa walked in the room.

Tifa bent down to let Red down and he scampered around the room, until he came to the bed, which he promply attempted to jump on. The attempt sent the kitten's frail body through the air in a 10 degree drop, in which Red landed on a lever. This lever then opened what Tifa thought was part of the wall.

Inside the wall were scores of black boxes, all sorted and labeled, all for Aerith. Tifa then found what the true meaning of jealousy was_. "This Aerith chick had all this shit and she's still such a bitch!" _Tifa's thoughts were slightly narsacisstic._ "Oh well. I get to make use of it, dont I? About time I catch a break." _

Tifa searched through the cases, some labeled everything from Props, to Bongs to other related paraphenilia. She found the box called Nightclothes. Tifa was amazed that they happened to be almost exactly the same size. Tifa had bigger breasts, but that was easily camoflauged. She pulled out a sheer black nightdress, and took a good look at the room.

The room was an ivory sort of color, with black sheets, a black canopy and a small black throw-rug. The bathroom was full, and by the bed, there was a small phone with black feathers on the handle. Right next to a castly dim lamp, wrought in iron. Tifa was in love. Well, with this room. She quickly changed and decided to free her hair of it's clasp. Wearily, she set off to sleep, trying not to squish Red 13. She fell into the realm of sleep, where she thought she was safe... Thought she was safe. Thoughts are decieving.


End file.
